Tuesday, 19 March 2013

5 false beliefs about relationships

                      young black couple

#1: Men want subservient women
Though you may believe that your man wants to be the breadwinner, or needs to be the breadwinner—you’re wrong. Characteristics that are most associated with “successful” women are confidence and intelligence. While you don’t think that your man could possibly feel manly if you’re making more bread, he isn’t thinking anything but how attractive you are. Sure, some men adhere to this outdated philosophy but most men cite those two characteristics as must haves in women. Just be sure you aren’t being arrogant about how much more money you make than he does.
#2: Opposites attract
Wrong. An expert from the University of Mississippi notes that this couldn’t be further from the truth. Although it could work short term because it causes friction that could be construed as sexual tension. Long term, people want to be with people who have the same core values and belief systems, it actually makes them feel closer. So, if you’re in love with your complete opposite, don’t throw it down the tubes. However, just make sure the things that you don’t agree on aren’t already deal breakers that will destroy your relationship down the line.
#3: Marriage is a sex killer
This myth has been perpetuating throughout time so people just assume it’s true. There are many studies that actually suggest that married people have more sex than single people in general, and even more so than unmarried couples that live together. Maybe it’s the whole until death due you part thing that have them going at it? After all some people think it’s depressing that they will be with one person for the rest of their lives. However, you can’t add this one to the list of reasons to stay single forever.
#4: Big girls don’t cry
While men don’t necessarily want to be cleaning up your waterworks every day, they want to feel needed. Therefore, if you’re holding back in front of your man because you think you’re going to chase him away—don’t. Humans are hard wired for certain characteristics and reactions. Men like to feel useful and needed. Crying in front of him once in a while, or telling him you need him will reassure his purpose in your relationship.
#5: Waiting reassures a bond
Some women follow the three-date rule when deciding when to sleep with a man. There is no rule of thumb, but most old-fashioned dating and etiquette books would suggest that sleeping with a man on the first date will kill any chance of a future. Researchers have found that men decide almost immediately if they see someone lasting for a long-term relationship in their life. If a man doesn’t call you after you slept with him on the first date it doesn’t always mean you made the bad move. It might mean he was never going to call you. Trust your own judgment when deciding how long you want to wait.
Source: Ynaija

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