Tuesday 22 October 2013

ways to work on an introvert-extrovert relationship

All relationships require compromise. With a partner of the opposite style as yours, you will need to compromise a little more than other couples.
1. Respect space
There are times when an introvert person may want to be with himself while the extrovert partner will wish to go out and express herself. It is useless to expect the other to join in because the primary space on which they both function are not aligned. Understanding this space and respect it at all times is essential for your relationship to move ahead.
2. Don’t pre-judge
If you are fighting over an issue and expecting the opposite person to react in the same way of you, then you might be in for a nasty surprise. An introvert’s way of dealing with issues is radically different from that of an extrovert. They will not react in the same way so stop judging them by mistaking their body language.
3. Pick your moment
Regardless of how different two people are, there are certain activities and habits that bind a couple at all times. Be it a common love for the outdoors or a passion for pets, realize that you will need to pick your moments of happiness and fights with care. Resolve all differences at such times and come closer to one another while enjoying your favourite activities together.
4. Be tactful and patient
All relationships require compromise. With a partner of the opposite style as yours, you will need to compromise a little more than other couples. If your partner does not like art, expecting her to come to every new exhibition in town is being unreasonable. However, not coming to any art function is pushing things too far as well. Find your balance with tact and patience.
5. Don’t get personal
Whatever the situation, it is never a good idea to get personal about the way a person is. After all, you knew about your partner when you got into a relationship. Expecting them to change completely for you is being selfish. Always remember that your partner’s preferences are different than yours. It will help you to manage expectations and move towards happiness.

source; ynaija

Friday 11 October 2013

Amazing: Nigerian Girl Born Without Hands Uses Her Legs To Write, Eat And Many More Things

Meet Sheidatu Abubakar who, though born without hands, uses her legs to eat, write, and even do henna decoration for ladies.
From a distance, Sheidatu Abubakar looks like most of her peers in school uniform. The hijab she wears conceals the fact that the SS1 student has no hands, unlike her school mates. But meeting the humorous teenager, you get the feeling that what she lacked in hands, she more than made up through the maximum utilisation of her legs, and this makes her the most popular girl in her hometown of Lapai, Niger State.
Born 16 years ago without hands, Sheda, as she is fondly called among her peers, has refused to allow her physical challenges to stand in the way of her dreams. And determined to realise her potentials to the fullest, Sheda is not only going to school but is competing favorably in the classroom with her normal classmates, particularly in design and drawing.
“I use one of my legs to draw and design to specification. I have been using my toes to give women beautiful henna designs during marriage or naming ceremonies. And I do this (henna decoration) in about an hour or so depending on what the clients asked for,” she told Weekly Trust in Lapai, adding that “Nobody thought me how to make such designs.”
She said there are instances where she collects money for the service rendered. If I were to be paid, I collect N 50 per hand and leg, so the payment for complete service is N 200 per person. And I can do four in a day.”
Indeed, Sheida has been using her toes to do so many other things including writing in class, eating and washing clothes, as well as helping her younger ones to loosen their hair for plaiting. She, however admitted that she cannot plait as she would have loved to.
Speaking on her future plans, Sheida said she nurses the ambition of going to as far as university to study. “I started school after the age of six unlike most of my mates, but I will want to study Fine Art one day in the university,” she said.
No stigmatisation
Sheida told Weekly Trust that she has never experienced any form of stigmatization either from her mates in the school or from the people in her community. Rather, she noted, most of them adore me. “The physical challenge I have may be seen as a curse by some, but to me it is a blessing. Because of my nature, I have near unrestricted access to the Emir of Lapai. I have his direct line and can also call him.”
She said her only constraint in life is that her parents are financially weak. “But still if given the necessary support, the sky would be my limit in ensuring she that has acquired higher education,” she said, and appealed to the government and well spirited individuals to come to her aid toward realizing her dream.
“I hope to one day secure employment after my studies, so that I can buy a car for my father who has been toiling to take me to school on his old motorcycle, especially in this raining season.”
Going down memory lane, Malam Abubakar R. Daji, a staff of Lapai Local Government Council, said he still recalls the day (Friday, September 23, 1996) Sheida was born. “When my wife gave birth, the nurse attending to her came out in rude shock, saying ‘Inna lillahi Wa’inna ilaihi Rajiun’ (meaning ‘we belong to Allah and to Him we shall return’). She kept on reciting without saying anything to anybody.
“After calming down, she told me that the baby came out without both hands. Meanwhile, my wife, who was in the labour room, panicked thinking she had a still birth. I, therefore, quickly went to and told my wife, and calmed her by letting her know whatever comes from God be it good or bad we must accept in good faith. She understood.”
According him, shortly after the news hit the town, their house turned into a Mecca of sort as people trooped to see the baby. He said he would never forget the words of the former chairman of Lapai LG Umaru Sidi. He told me that a person that was born in similar circumstances in their community is not only alive today. but is one of the most influential people in the area.
He said he once wrote the Niger State government about six years ago seeking for assistance, but only a wheelchair was given to them. “I said to myself, a person without a limb cannot use a wheelchair, therefore we handed it over to someone to whom it would be useful.”
The father of the girl said initially they were not keen on sending the little girl to school until she started exhibiting her God-given talent. “When we saw her potentials, we enrolled her at a private school. But after sometimes, we had to withdraw her because even Sheida believed the school was expensive. Fortunately for us she is still doing pretty well in school.”
Sheida’s mother, Fatima Umar, said she is not finding it difficult to cater for her daughter. “Sheida, like other children, crawled before she started walking. But when she started crawling, instead of moving on hands and knees, she would be twisting her body while on ground.
Malama Fatima said the day she would never forget was the day she kept Sheida and her food on one side and rushed to get a stool, “but to my surprise on coming back I found Sheida feeding herself by using her toes to hold the spoon.
She further revealed that her daughter wears and removes her clothes without any difficulty, particularly her uniform as she always accused her younger ones of not washing it as it should be.
According to her, the little girl was still crawling when her mother gave birth to her younger brother. But when he started walking, she took that as a challenge and started learning how to walk.
Sheida, as a girl, is very active at the home front as she actively participates in the house chores, particularly kitchen activities. Her mother said Sheida cooks her favourite meal of pasta by herself, even though she requires some assistance like arranging of firewood and lighting the fire.
“It is my prayer that Sheida will one day realise her dreams in life,” Malama Fatima said.

Wednesday 2 October 2013

Tips To Help You Forgive Your Loved Ones

1. Remember that you are not an angel, your human we make mistakes, but as a human learn to forgive others first before looking for forgiveness. Humble yourself by remembering that you are not perfect and nor should expect people around you to be. That reminder often helps me to forgive people easily because I know that I can make mistakes too.
2. Reflecting on the good things about the reasons why you loved them in the first place will help you to be more forgiving. Think about the good times against the miniscule bad times, and you will find your answer fairly quickly.
3. Sometimes no matter what you do people will find fault in you, it doesn’t matter. People will always find ways to look for some way to make you feel small, it doesn’t matter. Don’t take it personally and continue to forgive them because at the end of the day, life is too short to harbour such ill feelings!
4. Saying the words I forgive can have profound effects on you and your partner that you are saying them to. Saying it aloud to them will help you let go of any ill feelings towards them, and give them the reassurance they need that they are forgiven. Letting the negative feelings go by doing this, will in the end set you both free.
5. Yea it’s a really scary thing especially when you are not a confrontational person, but sometimes it is best to confront something at the time it happened or at least later on. How on earth will you move on in the first place if they don’t know what it is that they need forgiveness for. It’s also a good form of communication if you talk through everything; the small problems and the big ones and work together on forgiveness.

Things Men Secretly Desire in Their Partners

Dear Ladies, here are attributes men desire in their partners, although they might not open up to you. So, read it here and be the best for him!
1. Independence and confidence
Men are naturally attracted towards confident women. Remember that there is a keen difference between confidence and arrogance. Confidence attracts while arrogance repels. Men like women who can take care of themselves and can make up their mind without any help. Confident outlook, positive body language, and independent decision making are qualities that would definitely attract men.
2. Flirting back
This is an important tool for the later years of the relationship. Flirting is essential to keep the romance alive. Men love women who will flirt with them. This makes a man feel wanted and makes him feel that his woman is still attracted to him.
3. Occasional show of feminine side
Men prefer women who keep in touch with their feminine side. So, sometimes it is good to go for a bikini wax, or invest in new clothings and accessories!
4. Just as they are
A man loves a woman who can adjust to the situation, and more so to his surroundings. Nagging is a big mood turner for men so try and avoid it. Men hate it when women want to change them or their surroundings, this can be a totally spoiler for the romance. So, accept them for what they are, and they would love you forever.
5. Honesty
Honesty is a good habit to bag, whether to attract a man or not. Men search for honesty in their partner and honest answers turn them on. When a woman is honest with her man it makes him feel the special bond between them. Dishonesty is not good for any relationship, whatsoever, leave alone a romantic one.
6. Love for sports
What kind of man does not enjoy his girl foul-mouthing the opponent’s team with him? This is a quality which drives most men mad and makes them fall in love with their girl.
7. Need for personal space
While a woman will enjoy a lifetime of cuddling, a man will always need his own space. It is just how they were designed. A man needs his ‘me’ time or his ‘buddy’ time to re-energise. So, instead of making him feel suffocated with a constant hovering around, give him some space and spare him the smothering.
8. A smart woman
A woman with brains is highly in-demand in the man’s world. Though men are visual creatures and get attracted to the ocassional ‘damsel-in-distress’; yet it is always a woman with brighter brains that will take the better man home. Sense of humour in a girl is appreciated by her man. So remember, smart is the new sexy.
Now, you know some of the things that men secretly desire in their partner. So, ladies, take a few pointers and gear-up to be the ‘girl of his dreams’.