Tuesday, 4 December 2012

Advice Needed

 Got this from a fellow blogger, and decided to share this

My name is Temmy(a banker) and I've being dating my boyfriend Francis(33,engr with an oil company) for two and half years. Until recently, I was almost sure our relationship would lead to marriage.
Francis and I are very much in love, and despite coming from different tribes( I'm yoruba, Francis is igbo), our families have given their blessings, and things have been rosy between us until now.

The thing is, Francis usually goes home to spend Christmas with his extended family in Aguata, Anambra state, and comes back only after new year. The first Christmas after we met, he playfully invited me to come with him to his village, but I politely refused. He didn't seem upset, and just laughed it off after I explained to him that we had only just met.

Last year, he asked me again to follow him to meet his family, but I declined, despite him appealing to me by every means possible. On seeing that his appeal fell on deaf ears, he refused to talk to me until he got back from the village. He simply didn't pick my calls, despite knowing I would be worried sick. This shocked me very much, and I wondered If his reaction was commensurate with my action. Even though he apologized, and explained that he only acted like that cos he was hurt, I realized there was perhaps a side of Francis I was yet to discover, but soon forgot all about the incident after things went back to normal, even better.

This year, Francis has broached the topic again. He says his extended family is dying to meet me, and insists I must come with him, else, he might start to rethink the whole relationship. Although I've gone away with him for weekends in the past(outside Nigeria) on a couple of occasions, I find going to the village with him very unsettling. This is because my parents are not in support of the Idea, and are generally against travelling out of Lagos during festive seasons. I am also very scared of travelling to as place I barely know anyone; coupled with the fact that I have never spent any Xmas outside Lagos.

 My parents wonder why he insists, knowing fully well I've being to my village in Ijebu just twice in my 28 years of existence. My mum particularly is very upset because she had spoken to him about the matter but he remains adamant. She believes Francis should be more understanding and willing to compromise by seeing things from my perspective.
Considering what happened after I refused last year, I fear that he might make good his threat(rethink the relationship), and start considering other girls( Girls disturb and flock around him a lot, though he seems to only have eyes for me...until now). However, I'm scared of traveling that far, and I certainly don't want to disobey my parents. How do I get him to reason with me on this matter? I love Francis very much and don't want to loose him. I also feel the matter is trivial and his reaction exaggerated. I've invested so much time and emotions into what Francis and I have and cant bare to see it just end like that.

Please advice me.


source: mojidelano.blogspot.com 

2 comments:

kingsley ubong said...

TELL HIM TO COME AND PAY UR BRIDE PRICE OR DO INTRODUCTION WITH HIS FAMILY MEMBERS IN LAG.THEN U CAN GO.
SECONDLY,JUST BEAR IN MIND THAT THIS IS WHAT U WILL BE DOING EVERY YR OF UR LIFE. SO GET READY....

kingsley ubong said...

TELL HIM TO COME AND PAY UR BRIDE PRICE OR DO INTRODUCTION WITH HIS FAMILY MEMBERS IN LAG.THEN U CAN GO.
SECONDLY,JUST BEAR IN MIND THAT THIS IS WHAT U WILL BE DOING EVERY YR OF UR LIFE. SO GET READY....